Tuesday, February 26, 2013

A simple taste of normal

Work.  Sometimes, it is the thing that is dreaded the most.  Mondays.  There's even a condition!  "Someone has a case of the Mondays ...." People dread it.  People cry, mope, pout, drag their feet, talk about needing the GIANT coffee just to get themselves going in the morning to face their day.  I, however, happen to have a very interesting, exciting, fun, great job. It is a job in which I have even volunteered to give up my entire weekend to do.  Granted, I make beaucoup bucks when I come here on my day off and that makes it quite alluring to be here.  But, that aside, my job is pretty awesome.  I get to be in the "know" about things.  I feel a part of a bigger picture of the greater good. 

Work has been a joy for me in my life.  At least, my adult life.  What kid wants to be at work.  At times, it's been an escape for me from a home life I didn't want.  Others, it's been a lifesaver, allowing me to work a million hours when I needed to make extra money to cover my husband being between projects.  I have been a part of some scary things and I have been a part of some awesome things.

For me, work is a huge part of my life.  A lot of the people I consider my friends are here.  I have had some crazy, funny laughs while on duty here at work.  It was weird to actually say "I miss work".  I did.  I missed working.  It's something that I do SO much that when it wasn't there I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself.

However, for the next two weeks, I get to work!  I get to put the headset back on, sit at my desk in front of way too many computer screens than a person should be in front of, and I get to answer phones, get yelled at, dispatch deputies, get groaned at by them and be with all the people who have grown to become an everyday part of my life.  Not being here made me feel like I wasn't a part of what I love.  I've been a huge law enforcement fan, a huge cop show fanatic since I can remember, and now I didn't have that.  I wasn't a part of the things I was hearing our department involved in.  I wasn't there for all the backstory, my little inside information that I always had.   It felt weird.  It felt like the world was going on and I wasn't going on with it.

But for now, I'll get to return to normal life.  I'll get to taste what it is like to be me again, to savor the things I may have taken for grated.  Before long, I'll be back in the world that has become the sort-of normal. I'll be in my sweats, hanging out at home, trying to feel OK.  I'll be with my pooch every day again.  I know he enjoys that. I am making a list of movies I want to watch that my husband doesn't care to see so I can watch them while he's working.  I am going to go on the hunt for regular coloring books and crayons because I have this weird desire to "color" things.  I'll be writing here, and possibly trying to write my fiction stuff again. 

Until then, I'm gonna feel normal for awhile.  Or pretend to physically feel normal while doing normal things.  All I have to do is smile, right?  Smiling makes everyone think I feel fantastic.  So, the smile will stay put. 

ahhhhh ... to feel normal again.

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