Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Side Effects, Say WHAT?

I woke up this morning in a bad way. Not horrifically so, but not the happy-go-lucky person I was yesterday.  I knew there were some things I needed to get done before work so after procrastinating my rise from the sheets, I somehow got up and got moving.  I tossed in laundry, made the bed and paid bills.  Ugh bills.  Why can't I call them all and say "Hey I've got cancer can you stop billing me for two months or so?"  If only it were that easy.   Anyway ... I paid them.  The beginning of the month is crappy because, you know, it's rent and crap.

So the bills were paid, laundry is tumbling and spinning.  I felt weak and lopsided (it felt like the world was leaning to the left) so I plopped down on my couch and decided to actually read the book that was given to me about my upcoming treatment.  Yes, I've spoken with them and they've told me, but I wanted to read the facts.  Maybe I'd come up with a question or two to ask them instead of staring at them blankly when they say "Do you have any questions?"

I remember the nurse saying I wasn't going to be able to eat sugar.  So, I figured I'd be two months into a painful sugar cleanse when this was all done.  However, she meant no sugary snacks.  No candy.  No soda.  That kind of sugar.   Still, it will be sort of a good start.  It was recommended that I drink milkshakes and smoothies to help with my massive sore throat.  It also directed me to eat HIGH calorie foods.  To make cream soups with milk instead of water, to add melted cheese and butter to my foods, to eat whatever I can with lots of dense calories in it because my body is going to need it.

It also said I'm not going to have much of an appetite but I need to eat whenever I can, and to load up on proteins, milk, eggs, and beans.  Dan is going to love living with me loaded up on beans, let me tell ya.   I love melted cheese, I love butter.  I love meat.  At least whenever I get hungry, my options are something that I'm going to enjoy ... if I can taste them.

So my side effects ... yea ... not exactly what I had imagined all along.  I guess I am glad I bowed to my doctors will and scheduled myself off for treatment.  Let's start at the top shall we?

Severe sore throat, swollen gums, tooth pain (compared to having one's braces tightened and i HATED that back in high school so ... yay, not), loss of taste, loss of voice, headache, extreme fatigue, thickened saliva, nausea, headache, blistered skin, red skin, .... to name a few.   Sounds like a party huh?  Given my amount of whining I've done recently I should apologize in advance to anyone that is going to be around me while experiencing said side effects.  I apologize for being a whiny ass, please forgive me. 

There's the slim shred of hope that I have that maybe I'll be one of the lucky ones and have NO side effects! I keep thinking that in my head.  They called it medium dose radiation so maybe I'll be good to go.  Although, the dentist told me that my dosage is just under the amount called "high dose".  Just under?!  Ugh.  Well, I have to think positive.  Maybe I'll be a rock star and sail through it with minor symptoms. 

Then, 8 weeks from now I'll be back in the saddle, working normally, working out again, weating right and living a good, wonderful, LONG life.  That's my plan anyway.  I won't let a little thing like cancer get in the way.  Be gone cancer ... I took away your festering warm little gland ... now the rest of you need to vacate the premises. 

Oh ... still no word on the lung biopsy.  Any day now ... But don't worry.  That's gonna be all clear too.  I only have one long hurdle to jump over.  The lung is NOT going to bring anything else to the table.  

I hope ....

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