Thursday, March 21, 2013

A writing MACHINE!

I am proud of myself.  I'll say that right now.  If you know me, pay attention because I don't normally promote myself so highly. But, I want to note here that I am proud that I sit down and make myself write.  I fully intend on finishing this novel, doing a re-write and edit and finding out how to submit it to a publisher.  Or ... publishers.  It's gonna cost some money so I don't know when I'll do it.  But, I am going to do it.  It's on my bucket list.  I haven't really made a full bucket list but that's on there.  It's on there twice.  Submit something to be published ... and then submit something that gets published! 

Today's total: 6271 words.  My novel now stands at 99 pages!  Ninety nine pages!!! I'm excited. Just about 200 more to go and I'll feel like it's long enough that I can go back and edit and add some spark to it.  The first draft is never good enough to be the finished product.  A little author I know, named Erica Spindler, filled me in on that! She offers such great insight on her Facebook page.  Oh to have her life, I'd love to go find a place in town to spend some time writing.  This girl is dreaming again ... 

I had a visitor today.  My darling, PJ, came to see me with her lil man Peter.  She brought me some yummy yummy dinner and we had a few moments to chat.  She's promised to help me with my new look when I'm sporting the Gillette Smooth bald head.  It makes everything sound like it's going to be fun!  Loki just loved Peter and wanted to knock him over.  Loki was not happy when I put him in the ex-pen and Peter wasn't over there petting him.  I was happy to see my puppy gave him kisses as he was leaving.  Good boy!! 

I got severely annoyed while waiting for radiation today.  I know it has most to do with the steroids.  Yes, 'roid rage exists.  It exists even when you aren't juicing for muscle and stamina.  It exists when you are forced to take steroids for your health.  I've felt myself angry at times for no reason and now I know why.  Today, I checked in at radiation and sat down to wait.  Normally, it takes only a few minutes before they come get me but today seemed extra busy.  There were people EVERYWHERE in that tiny lobby.  But, everyone was just sort of sitting there talking.  Then, someone's phone rang ... and rang ... and rang ... and the woman kept talking to her friend as she slowly picked up the phone.  She finished her thought before answering and suddenly, her vocal volume skyrocketed.  She had been talking quietly with her friend but now it was like the ENTIRE building had to hear her conversation.  That was enough for me.  But then, she got up and starts pacing the small lobby, still talking loud.  The nurse comes to get her and she waves him away, pointing to the phone.  I'm sorry ... you have an appointment.  Shouldn't you tell the person you'll call them back?  Or ... step outside and enjoy the sunshine while you take the call?  

I felt anger coursing through my veins like lava.  I kept my cool somehow.  I don't know how because there were several times I wanted to say something.  I get it, she has cancer.  Hey, so do I.  Everyone in here does.  We don't expect to be able to be rude because of that! 

It's the steroids.  It made me overreact.  Even now I feel a little bad mentioning it.  Oh well.  To each their own, I guess. 

I am beyond thankful I was able to do my errands before radiation. I needed my zzquil, some crystal light, and to exchange cat food.  I got that done, then went to my appointment.  What little energy I had when I walked into radiation was completely non-existant when I left.   I was dizzy, run down, shaky, and weak.  Thankfully, all I had to do was go home and lie down.  And ... here I am.  Well, right now I am sitting.  

I find I have energy in the mornings, the nights I am useless.  There is no way I could have pulled this off  and stayed working.  Sometimes I have no energy to lift my arms.  It seems like an exaggeration but, it feels like that.  I am in pain and lethargic at night.  I wouldn't be good to anyone in dispatch like this.  This was a good idea to stay out.  Because I'd be begging off desperately now and leaving everyone in a lurch. 

I have a confession.  When I got zzquil at Target, I got cookie dough and made cookies.  I KNOW!  I shouldn't!  But, I wanted chocolate chip cookies.  I wanted them and they were there as I walked by to get the Crystal Light.  It's horrible.  I shouldn't have done it.  I'm just going to get fatter and fatter but ... I wanted them dang it.  I wanted them and it's all about me right now.  

At least, that's what Dan said.  Everything has to revolve around me right now.  I need to tell him what I want to eat and he will go get it.  So, I wanted cookies and I made them.  I promise I won't eat them all.  

Plus, it makes my house smell good.   Hey, I gave up soda.  I only drink water.  That's a big step.  I'm gonna lose my tastebuds any day ... at least that's what they tell me.  Things do already taste a wee bit different.  Oh great. 

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