Tuesday, March 12, 2013

And, we're off ...

Let me start by saying that trying to sleep last night sucked.  I have no idea why but close to the end of my shift I had a hot flash in my face alone.  My face was on FIRE! When I got home, my body was reacting to the temperature and wanted to be under the covers, as long as I kept the comforter clear of my face.  Which also meant there was a power struggle with JD who wanted his spot snuggled up to my cheek.  That woke up Dan and ... then I felt bad. 
Once I was able to get to sleep I had nightmares about today.  I was told over and over again that I wouldn't feel a thing, it would be like 5 minutes of zapping, etc.  But, in my dreams there were people coming out with third degree burns running down their necks, etc.  Needless to say, I was not well rested when I got out of bed this morning. 
Still feeling sick.  The Weg's/GPA seems to be wanting to have a starring role in my life right now.  It doesn't want to take a backseat to cancer treatment.  I can almost hear it saying "They were looking into me when they found you, stupid cancer. I'm the star here!"  
My ears have a lot of pressure, they get muffled and then crack and I can hear better.  I know I have the ear tubes and it could be close to them coming out.  However, my ENT told me that when they come out, it's painless and I won't know.  But, all I know is I'm starting to hear differently again and they hurt!!!!! My eyes burn (prior to radiation) and I feel a lot of pain in my sinuses again.  It's like last year all over again.  
Anyway, I headed out to my first official zapping appointment more focused on the fact that I felt shitty than any fears from my nightmares.  I went right in and climbed up on the table. When they put on my mask, I got a little claustrophobic but, I wasn't going inside anything so I was able to deal with the squeezing feeling of the mask.  They have a beautiful cherry blossom sky scene lit up above the table but I don't have my contacts in for this so I was trying to enjoy the blurry blue skies and pink flowers.  Anyway, once they got started it was over rather quickly. 
They were right, I felt nothing.  We headed home and Dan hurried off to a side job.  
It was a short while later that I noticed my sore throat that I had this morning was gone and a new pain had taken it's place.  This is a hot, burning, scratchy feeling.  I feel even more run down than I have.  I don't want to get off the couch.  It could be the other medications I am taking that is doing this ... who knows?  All I know is I am grateful that I bowed to the will of the doctors and put in for the time off. 
I don't think I could effectively work today.  Talking hurts.  I am only comfortable as I am now, half laying on the couch with my head in the pillows.  
So I can't really give an accurate report of the first day because my stupid Weg's seems to want to run the show.  I feel crappy as heck, but I can't assign blame 100%.  Weg's/GPA or Radiation side effects?  I wouldn't think they would come on so quickly. 
Tomorrow is day two. I have my whole schedule.  I've been in contact with the rheumatologist about things not getting better physically and he wasn't happy about that.  It's a gnarly disease that could get very angry, very quickly so ... let's get radiation over with so I can start the medication to shut down the bad immune system! 
That's all for now ... I'm really not feeling up to this. :(

1 comment:

  1. Sorry the day was so painful, but thanks for the update. Wish I was closer and could do something to help out. I am keeping updated though via your blog, so keep it coming as your energy permits!! Many hugs from us.

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