Let me start by saying that trying to sleep last night sucked. I have no idea why but close to the end of my shift I had a hot flash in my face alone. My face was on FIRE! When I got home, my body was reacting to the temperature and wanted to be under the covers, as long as I kept the comforter clear of my face. Which also meant there was a power struggle with JD who wanted his spot snuggled up to my cheek. That woke up Dan and ... then I felt bad.
Once I was able to get to sleep I had nightmares about today. I was told over and over again that I wouldn't feel a thing, it would be like 5 minutes of zapping, etc. But, in my dreams there were people coming out with third degree burns running down their necks, etc. Needless to say, I was not well rested when I got out of bed this morning.
Still feeling sick. The Weg's/GPA seems to be wanting to have a starring role in my life right now. It doesn't want to take a backseat to cancer treatment. I can almost hear it saying "They were looking into me when they found you, stupid cancer. I'm the star here!"
My ears have a lot of pressure, they get muffled and then crack and I can hear better. I know I have the ear tubes and it could be close to them coming out. However, my ENT told me that when they come out, it's painless and I won't know. But, all I know is I'm starting to hear differently again and they hurt!!!!! My eyes burn (prior to radiation) and I feel a lot of pain in my sinuses again. It's like last year all over again.
Anyway, I headed out to my first official zapping appointment more focused on the fact that I felt shitty than any fears from my nightmares. I went right in and climbed up on the table. When they put on my mask, I got a little claustrophobic but, I wasn't going inside anything so I was able to deal with the squeezing feeling of the mask. They have a beautiful cherry blossom sky scene lit up above the table but I don't have my contacts in for this so I was trying to enjoy the blurry blue skies and pink flowers. Anyway, once they got started it was over rather quickly.
They were right, I felt nothing. We headed home and Dan hurried off to a side job.
It was a short while later that I noticed my sore throat that I had this morning was gone and a new pain had taken it's place. This is a hot, burning, scratchy feeling. I feel even more run down than I have. I don't want to get off the couch. It could be the other medications I am taking that is doing this ... who knows? All I know is I am grateful that I bowed to the will of the doctors and put in for the time off.
I don't think I could effectively work today. Talking hurts. I am only comfortable as I am now, half laying on the couch with my head in the pillows.
So I can't really give an accurate report of the first day because my stupid Weg's seems to want to run the show. I feel crappy as heck, but I can't assign blame 100%. Weg's/GPA or Radiation side effects? I wouldn't think they would come on so quickly.
Tomorrow is day two. I have my whole schedule. I've been in contact with the rheumatologist about things not getting better physically and he wasn't happy about that. It's a gnarly disease that could get very angry, very quickly so ... let's get radiation over with so I can start the medication to shut down the bad immune system!
That's all for now ... I'm really not feeling up to this. :(