Friday, March 22, 2013

The Purple Shot

I slept last night.  Yay.  I slept for about 7 hours.  I don't remember waking up at all.  I don't think I did because my bladder was ready to rupture when I woke up at 7am.   How was I able to get such a glorious night of sleep?  Why, I took a small purple shot of heaven.  

Zzquil.  Zzquil is from the makers of NyQuil.  Only, there's no cold medicine in it.  It's just that zonking power that NyQuil packs.  I take it and zzzzzzzzzzz.  They say it's non-habit-forming.  I don't take it enough to know if I crave it.  I just know I wasn't sleeping well and needed some assistance.  You should try it if you can't sleep, it's heaven in a tiny glass.  The flavor isn't too bad either.  They have the geltablets if you don't want to toss back a shot but, the flavor isn't all that bad.  Kind of grapey.  At least they don't market it in the original green death.  I'd have to go with gel tabs if they did that. 

Did I really just devote an entire paragraph to sleeping medicine?  Oh yes.  Too bad I'm not being sponsored.  Maybe they'd send me a crate of zzquil!  Yay!  I didn't even have any weird dreams.  Well, nothing weirder than I have been having recently.  

My Wegener's monster woke up today and is grumbling at me.  My nose burns, my eyes burn, my chest feels like there is a tight rubber band around it and my cough has sparked back up.  All this after I emailed the doctor this morning asking about my steroid taper.  I'm supposed to start the slow progression to taper off the meds so that I am not on them.  It's also to see if it made any difference in the Wegener's.  Unfortunately, I don't think much has changed in the world.  I know after radiation I crumble to pieces from radiation ... what happens before I go ... well that's the ol' Wegener's.   My immune system will continue to go haywire until the immunosuppressants are in my system.  Right now, my meds help with the inflammation that is caused by my psychotic immune system.  But, it can only make the inflammation go down ... it doesn't do anything for keeping ol' psycho from flaring it right back up.  It's like a tug-o-war in there.  But, Weg's, you're in for a big surprise.  As soon as the laser beams are done wreaking havoc on my body ... then you're going to be shut the frick down.  So, enjoy your little heyday ... it's going to short lived. 

I got up this morning and jammed the ol' toothbrush in the mouth because my mouth had that super dry, super yucky taste.  But, as soon as my toothbrush hit my gums everything lit up.  WOW!  PAIN! The gums on the left side of my mouth are completely inflamed (radiation) and PAINFUL.  It wraps all the way around to my front teeth.  It feels like I ate an entire box of Froot Loops.  Do you all know how badly they tear up your mouth?  I didn't eat anything that could have caused this, it's from the radiation.  It took everything I had to finish brushing my teeth.  Oh my god, it hurt so bad.  At least now I can't eat anything super bad for me ... if it requires any kind of actual hard chewing, impossible. 

When I was perusing recipes, trying to find something to put on the menu, I skipped over so much because the thought of anything crunchy or textured in my mouth made me want to cry.  So, maybe this will finally reverse this prednisone induced chow fest.  I ate too much for lunch but it was soft. 

I just feel like shit, pardon my language.  I have a headache, I have sore gums, I have sore teeth, my nose and eyes burn, my chest hurts, I cough, my body aches and is weak.  My heart is doing it's weird thumping/skipping/pounding thing (Damn HASHIMOTOS!)  I just want to lie here.  I don't think I am going to write today.  I don't want to use my brain, it hurts.  I can take one day off right?  If I get motivated later I'll crack open the Word document but ... right now I just want to lie here.  I don't even want to sit up.  I need to go put on something more comfortable but that involves walking into the other room.   Yea, I can't do it.  I'm that wiped out.  

I hear people say they are surprised I'm so fatigued from radiation.  It's the main side effect ... and I have an autoimmune thyroid disorder and a very serious autoimmune disease.  I have three simultaneous issues.  And here I thought having two was bad.  haha.  The hashimoto's really only bothers me when my heart decides to dance a jig in my chest for no reason.  But, Wegener's ... think of how you feel when you're fighting a cold.  You know the feeling ... you have no energy, you ache, your head is in a fog.  That's your immune system trying to fight the bad germs ... for me?  My immune system is trying to fight me ... it fights me every day.  And that is why I am feeling even more wiped out than I probably should feel.    I'm supposed to listen to my body and my body is screaming at the top of it's lungs for me to do nothing but lie here.  

And so ... lie here I will.  

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