Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Expect the Unexpected

I had two doctor's appointments today.  One was to deal with a stupid skin infection (yay more antibiotics) and the other was a follow up appointment with Dr. Z, my oncologist.  I was all excited to get the free and clear from him to actually feel  like I was done and cancer free.  He didn't give me those words.  In fact, he placed a seed of worry in my head.  

I had a very rare occurence of a solitary plasmacytoma.  The rarest of plasmacytomas.  My bone marrow biopsy was clear for multiple myeloma, however there were rare plasma cells present ... now, those rare little cells could just become white blood cells and be totally normal and happy.  Or ... they could turn into myeloma.  Yea ... so I get to go have blood work done every few months to check my blood proteins.  Dr. Z's words were that we are going to be well acquainted for a very long time.  Yes, the follow up blood work is common for cancer patients but ... he followed all this up with more info.  People who have a plasmacytoma have a 50/50 chance that it will come back or not.  A family history of cancer raises the chance that it will come back.  Having the rare plasmacytoma at only 33 also raises my chances.  

I've been instructed to regularly check my neck.  Right now I have soft scar tissue.  Right now it's all healing according to plan.  (it looks ugly but he assured me it's fine, it's healing like it should)  However, if I feel anything hard, call him.  If I find any other random lumps no matter how benign they feel, call him.  A plasmacytoma can pop up anywhere, more commonly in the head/neck soft tissue areas but ... again, it can be anywhere.  

So ... I could be back in his office.  I'm gonna remain positive and say I'm not gonna get anything else.  In fact, my dietary changes as soon as we are moved in will help with that.  It's another reason to stick to this change.  My life could eventually depend on it.  

Unfortunately, right now I'm not doing alright.  It started Sunday.  I woke up feeling lousy and it went downhill from there.  My head started to hurt and then hurt VERY badly.  Not like migraine bad with the light sensitivity.  I couldn't move though, whenever I moved my head it hurt SO bad.  I took one of the Norco's I had left over from my surgery and even that didn't do anything.  Thankfully, I was able to sleep.  

At night, things get worse.  Especially if I have done anything during the day.  So right now, I packed today.  I went to the doctor, went to u-Haul and then came home and packed up the kitchen island and the dishes and glasses.  I was about to do the rest o' the kitchen when I ran out of fuel and had to move to the couch.  Once again, once dinner came to me, I couldn't eat it.  This keeps happening.  I feel horrible, clammy, feverish and incredibly nauseous.  

Now I feel all wonky and drugged.  I feel like shit, pardon my french.  I'm tired of feeling like shit!!! Dr. Z was informed of all this and wants me to just keep an eye on it.  Again, I'm recovering from radiation exposure, my body is now fighting back against all that ... so this could be related to that.  Who knows?  I'm supposed to keep track of things, but to not overdo it.  I'm supposed to rest when my body tells me to rest.  So, I'll finish packing the kitchen tomorrow.  

I go back to work in 4 days.  I don't want to feel like this at night.  I feel slightly cranky wheN I don't feel well at the moment.  I am supposed to be going back to work with a renewed passion for what I do ... with a positive attitude, with a shield against everything that drives me nuts.  This isn't helping.  

I don't want to feel lousy while I'mthere because I'll just want to be at home.  Everyone knows how slow time goes when  you want to be somewhere else!!!! 

It's gonna be OK.  I just seem to be sick at the moment.  Still. For like the fourth month straight ... coming up on 5 months.  Yippee, this is so much fun.  Not.  

So today I learned I have a HIGH chance of getting cancer again, I have a skin infection, I still feel absolutely terrible, and I am a slow packer.  It's been an eye opening day.  haha

Well, I'm gonna take the little puppy to bed.  I'm tired and as I've mentioned a million times ... I feel like crud.  So, it's off to my hot date with my lover, the pillow.  

Goodnight!!! 

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