My nose is annoying. It's painful, it's constantly drying out, then it itches, then spontaneously it starts running. After it runs for like a minute, it suddenly dries back up again. I spray the saline moisturizing spray up there, or apply a layer of vaseline to the inside. For a moment, I am able to breathe and move and then it happens again. It's annoying! I hate it! And so far, the only option presented to me for fixing it is cauterizing the blood vessels that are swollen at the tip of my nose. This can't be the only option.
I don't feel any better. I don't feel like I'm not doing radiation anymore. I feel worse. I wake up with a headache that grows and grows and grows. I get nauseous, super nauseous like I am going to throw up ... only I don't. And I pray that I would so that this feeling would go away. I have a canker sore, or some sore from radiation at theback of my mouth, down near where my tongue hits my throat, so if I get something stuck down between my teeth and lip on the opposite side and try to clear it out with my tongue, I am in extreme pain. Oh ... and let me tell you about the gastrointestinal problems.
OK, I won't tell you about that part! Let's just said there is extreme pain, I can't go far from a bathroom and today during my quick journey out to get some things done I utilized the bathroom at FedEx, the bank, and Costco. TMI? Yep. I'm sorry. However, I'm trying to paint a picture here.
Feeling off is getting SO old. What do I mean "getting" old ... it's been old for a long time. I"ve been sick since December! It's almost May. And, until the radiation side effects completely wear off I can't chase down the doctors and shake my fist at them to get me fixed!
At least I am back home, errands done, faxes sent, dinner tucked away and ready to be cooked. I'm about to change into my sweats, and settle in for the night. I only wore pants because I was going out and about and I am tired of being out and about in sweats.
Oh, don't even get me started on the jeans debacle. I am so angry at jeans manufacturers! I bought a pair of jeans in my old fat size (Thank you couch surfing and prednisone) and didn't even realize these jeans DON'T have front pockets!!! Who doesn't make jeans with front pockets?! It looks like there are pockets there. There is a seam sewn on the front but the pocket doesn't exist! I USE my pockets. I carry my keys and cellphone in my pockets when I don't have my purse. Maybe I'm the only girl that does this but seriously, these jeans are dumb. And they fit weird. They look hideous. Well, it could jsut be the bigger size that depresses me but ... I think they are horrific looking. They were better in the fitting room.
Time to go change into my comfort and get cozy. Maybe things in my body will settle down. I need to pack, I need to get things ready to move May 1st. I can't be sick anymore!!!!!!!
I hope you have a wonderful night, HAPPY WEDNESDAY! Remember to tell people how you feel about them and hold them close.