I don't want to whine or complain. I don't want to throw a fit, but honestly I really feel like throwing an epic temper tantrum. I do! I should be allowed to as well ... Everything is up in the air and I'm completely irritted, frustrated, stressed out about it. I know that buying a house SHOULD be stressful, it always is. But, when you're down to the day you're supposed to be signing papers and the underwriter hasn't even moved your file from where it sits on her desk to even peek at it? You get a wee bit mad. Then, the next day comes along ... you know, the last day I could sign and get the keys in my hand on Friday ...and the file STILL hasn't even been cracked open, you get a little madder.
So now, tomorrow is Friday. I'm off tomorrow for the start of my weekend. I was supposed to be packing things up into a giant moving van and moving over to the new house. I was going to be sleeping in the new house tomorrow night. Alas, we haven't even signed the papers yet. There's no way they can get them recorded with Sonoma County, fund the loan AND get me the keys on the same day. It's just not possible. So, I won't be moving tomorrow. I guess I will just keep boxing things up. I will live among a maze of tall boxes, feeling slightly like a hoarder until next week sometime when I can FINALLY move in.
Of course, now I don't even have a day. I can't even count on signing them tomorrow and getting keys in hand on Monday. Why? Because I am waiting on someone to do something they are supposed to do and aren't doing. I am waiting to matter. I have a feeling it is becuase the company we went with usually does HUGE loans for like multi-million dollar homes. So, why would their underwriter want to look at our little loan? Of course she would probably work on the BIG loans that come across her desk, continuing to pass over the little piddly loan that means nothing to them. At least, that's how I am feeling at the moment. Insignificant and Unimportant.
I can't plan our move. I started to say that a few weeks ago but no ...... the broker said "Give your notice! Pack your house! Your loan is all approved. We will sign docs the first, closing escrow on the 3rd." So ... we did. And now? It's 1020PM on the 2nd and I hven't seen a single loan document. I can't fault our broker, he's gotten us a credit so that we will have a small investment account as a backup, he's been trying to get her to look at our documents. His hands are tied. I've heard many a story about how ruthless underwriters can be. They don't care about the people involved. They don't care if we were out on our asses. They still have a job and a million other loans to put through. We are no better than anyone else.
I can't even think about when I would be moving. I have NO idea. Are we signing tomorrow? Keys Monday? No idea. If we sign Monday would we have the keys by Wednesday? Who knows?! I paid (or am paying) $1600 in our closing costs to pay rent in our house for May. So ... if they keep pushing this back, I'm not paying the full amount because I won't be living in that house for the month of MAY!
Then, there is the small voice of fear in the back of my mind. What if the underwriter says No? Can they say no? The broker had said everything was approved and we just needed to have the loan docs drawn up, signed at the title office, etc. But ... I'm a worrier, I'm a fearful girl. I always expect the worst. So, there is that tiny voice who is frightened that things are going to blow up in my face and I will have to, sadly, unpack all those boxes back into the house I already live in. And ... what if I can't? What if my landlord has already found someone to move into our house? Where do I go then?
I'm a good person. I put everyone before myself. I don't drink in excess (not at all now), I don't smoke or do drugs. I am not hateful to people. I am kind to strangers. I am a good person. I hate how this is making me a bitter person, angry at the underwriter and assuming it is because our loan is crap to her. (Yes, I know it is a she). I was just so excited, and allowing myself to get more excited by the day. Now I feel like someone has come along and push a pin into my balloon of excitement.
Maybe tomorrow will bring happier news ... again, I'm kind of in a holding pattern of who knows? It seems to be the story of my life these days.