Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Swallow the Bitter Pill ...

Of perspective ...
This week's celebrity news has left me feeling a bit off kilter.  Who cares, they are celebrities right?  Yes, this is true.  But, I'm not talking about Kim Kardashouldn'tbefamous, or Honey is a Boo Boo.  I'm talking about a beloved television star, and a beautiful, brave little girl with the biggest most expressive yes you've ever seen.
I'm a Gleek.  I'll admit it.  I love Glee.  I watch it religiously, and I have the CDs.  I even love a lot of their versions of songs better than the original.  It makes me happy.  It reminds me of a better time in my life.  I was in high school, I was talented and known for something, my parents were alive, etc.  We weren't as hated or teased as the kids on Glee but I remember the rehearsing and performing ... ahhh, those were the days.  Anyway,  I love Glee.  Moreso, I love Rachel and Finn (two characters on Glee) and at the end of last season, there was a glimmer of hope that Rachel and Finn would get back together and live happily ever after.  Knowing that the actress who plays Rachel (Lea Michele) was actually dating Finn (Corey Monteith) made me happier.  They are a very attractive couple and have amazing on screen chemistry.  So, when the season ended with hope of a romantic reunion, I was happy.
However, Corey Monteith is now dead.  He died.  He has been battling drug addiction since his pre-teen years, and apparently, relapsed while at home in Vancouver and unfortunately, it was the very last time he would.  He's gone.  Heroin and Alcohol consumed him.  No more Finn.
My heart broke for Lea Michele.  My heart broke for his family.  This wasn't a star you looked at an saw their addiction.  When he went into rehab earlier this year it was a HUGE shocker because he seems normal.  Clean cut, not out partying and being in the tabloids all the time.  It wasn't like watching Amy Winehouse self distruct or Amanda Bynes and her downward spiral.  No.  This was from out of left field.
How can Rachel and Finn reunite and live happily ever after if he's dead? Lea and Corey won't get their happily ever after.  I don't even know how they put this in the show.  How do they ask Lea Michele to rehash the worst moments of her life by killing off the character?  Do they just pretend he rode off into the sunset and did something else? 
Anyway, it's a death that rocked me a little bit.  Just sad and too soon.  It sucks.
And then ... there's the brave battle of Talia Castellano.   You may not know who Talia is.  I do.  Well, I got to find out who she was because I watch the Ellen show.  Talia was only 13 and had been fighting neuroblastoma for 6 years.  Can you imagine being in the fight of your life since you were 7?  I mean, I didn't know I had anything seriously wrong with me until I was 33,  and I've been quite the baby about it and haven't been through NEAR the things that Talia went through. 
Talia had a series of You Tube videos on how to put on makeup.  I've watched a few of them.  No, I haven't tried her techniques.  Anyway,  Ellen brought her onto the show and worked with CoverGirl to make Talia a covergirl.  Talia never wore a wig, never gave the baldness a second glance.  She always talked about embracing what she had and making her face the focal point of what people saw. 
Sure, you may look at her pictures and think she was wearing too much makeup but, when you think of the big picture, she felt good about herself, she was a gorgeous, sweet little girl.  She was just a little girl.  I think back to what I thought/felt/did when I was 13 and cannot even begin to imagine having such a battle on my plate.  Would I have fared as well?  I know I am a big whiner a lot of the time and then, I remember Talia and shake my head. 
Talia died this week.  Thirteen years old.  Twenty years younger than I am right now.  I have had 20 years of living that she will never get to have.  And for no other reason than that sometimes the world just REALLY sucks.  In twenty years since I was 13 I've seen/done so much.  High school, dances, boyfriends and dating, getting my license and a car, sports, performing, traveling, graduating, college, getting a job, my own place, buying a home, my own pets.  Some of those things seem insignificant but ... they are life experiences that we all take for granted. 
I may have a life threatening condition, but it's being addressed, and will be manageable.  I may get my cancer back, but that will also be addressed and managed.  Does it matter?  I've lived Talia's lifetime over and over again. 
I am alive, I have a home, I have a job, I have a husband and fur-babies, I can drive, I can take care of myself.  I am living life even if I am not living life to the same level as other people. 
My thoughts and prayers are with the Monteith and Castellano families.  There's no imagining the pain they are feeling right now.  There's no answers to why their loved ones had to go.  I hope they find peace in this dark time. 
Hold your loved ones, tell them you love them.  There's no way to tell when our time will end, or people you love will be gone from this planet.  We must live in the now. 
And ... I need to stop being a big baby.  :)

1 comment:

  1. Love this Nikki. And remember your world revolves around YOU so it is okay to whine a bit. This is YOUR space, if someone doesn't like what you have to say (whining or not) they don't have to read it. They are their own person, they can choose to read or not to read, no one is forcing them. But your blog FOR ME is much like this post - puts things in perspective. Love you :-)