Friday, August 9, 2013

Don't stop moving!

I'm sick. Yea, yea, you've all heard it before. Blah blah blah. Today wasn't a good day for me physically. I managed to keep it under wraps and hide it from everyone. I had a short shift and then it was off to run errands.
Left work and hopped on the freeway to head down to the bank in Rohnert Park, signed some papers and then popped over to the Goodwill Drop off and got the bags out of the back of my truck, then it was over to Petco for wet and dry dog food and wet cat food. After Petco I made the decision to skip Costco and was back to Santa Rosa to get my groceries at Raleys.
Loaded up, I headed home. I was feelin absolutely awful. But I couldn't stop. Dan arrived right as I got home and helped me unload the truck. I put groceries away, got the chicken marinating, went outside and scooped up dog poop from the front yard, came in and put away the dog and cat food. I vacuumed the floors, emptied the cat box, refilled it, took out the recycling, brought the trash cans in from the street. I tossed in some laundry, folded others, made a salad, steamed some green beans, cooked the chicken, plated it up, swapped more laundry. Then we ate. I fed the animals and am now waiting on the laundry again.
All this was done with a fever that I think is finally broken. I think. I don't exactly have the energy to get up and check.
I knew I could possibly be overdoing it but I knew if I kept moving I could get some more stuff done. 
I've been so frustrated being unable to do stuff. I'm regretting doing SO much but sometimes we have to beat ourselves up to get things done. Now if my brain and body would cooperate and go to sleep I'd be a very happy girl. 
Loki's already out, JD just curled up with a flop on my head and Dans been snoring for over an hour. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous. 
I made an appointment with another one of my lovely doctors for Thursday. I'm not too thrilled about this appointment and what is going to ensue but, it is necessary in my current predicament to proceed this route. I also get to be back on the every two week Thyroid bloodwork again because apparently my levels are completely out of whack and not in a direction that can be corrected yet. My thyroid hormone creator thinks my thyroid is asleep yet my thyroid is high functioning and rocking on. Could be from radiation, could be Hashimoto's being funky, could be Boris poking at my thyroid too. 
My body is an anomaly.  My doctor couldn't  find anyone with a plasmacytoma and Wegeners. Two highly rare conditions in one person, especially someone young like me. Add in the Hashimoto's and I'm just malfunctioning on all levels. 
I can't make my claims about how healthy I am anymore. Just last night Otis and I were discussing Teflon non-stick pans and I said "I've cooked with them my whole life and I'm perfectly fine ... Oh wait..." And it dawned on me that I can't say that anymore.
Now I'm that sick person.
I've found several groups and pages on Facebook dealing with Vasculitis and Wegener's. I've talked with several nice people and they have reminded me that my life will never be the same. I will never be that same girl anymore. Even if I can get back to getting in shape, it will be much slower, much longer. 
As long as I am alive, it can be as slow going as it wants. 
Well, I really better try to sleep!! Goodnight beautiful people. 

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