Saturday, August 3, 2013

I'm broken

I think I am broken.  That's the best explanation of what's going on.  I cannot find anything on the internet that explains my recent Thyroid tests.  My TSH is sky high but, so is my thyroid which doesn't add up.  TSH is usually high when the thyroid is under producing. What the heck is going on?

Oh well, my thyroid has been a pain in the rump this entire time so I am not worried about it at all.  I've got my meds sitting at home waiting for the last of my blood work to come back and then I'll start taking baby steps to my dosage and be on my road to remission.  Oh you have no idea how I can't wait.  It feels like life isn't a blurred haze in front of me anymore.  Soon, the fog will lift and I will be living a normal life again.

There are some definite lifestyle changes and things to consider when all this starts to go down.  No more bread, no more beans.  Bread/Wheat/Gluten is something I've always had a reaction to, and beans aren't easy on my system either.  So away they go.  Inflammatory foods are a no-no for my body from now on.  No soda.  Only water. I'm going to learn to drink tea so that I can have something that gives me a little boost on those tired days.  A trusted friend has assured me it's an acquired taste and I will be able to like it someday because she once hated it as well.   Let's re-cap, shall we?

1 - No Wheat/Bread/Gluten
2 - No Beans
3 - No Soda
4 - No Processed Sugar
5 - 1 Gallon o' Water a day

My medication is a once-a-week dosage, so I'll probably feel a bit off and gross for a day or two every time I take it.  It's what I've been told by others who take Methotrexate for their Wegener's.   I start at a small dose and then increase from there until I am on the treatment dose.  If I don't tolerate the oral method, I'll be switched over to weekly injections so that it bypasses the stomach.   This is the next two years of my life. 
No pregnancies for two years so I have started considering adoption.  With adoption, I won't have to worry about losing weight and then gaining it again.  ( I know, dumb thoughts but I'm looking at the big picture) and ... I won't be putting any extra stress on my kidneys, not giving them any reason to get wonky before they need to.  Besides, there are so many babies/toddlers/kids out there who need homes.

I will be switching over to an IUD, guaranteeing my birth control so that I won't forget, screw up and get pregnant.  Woops.  My fear is that it will be painful.  We've already established that I don't like pain.  I'm trying to keep the procedures to a minimum for awhile.

Dayshift is becoming a sad daydream now.  After speaking with one of the supes, I am convinced I'm stuck on nights for the next several years.  The doctor talked of moving me to dayshift temporarily, but ... then it would be right back here.  It's time to just deal with it.  I'm going to be on nights for twenty years.  Why do you say that?
Well, I'm almost been on nights for 12 years.   I can easily see being stuck on my shift for another 8 years.   There's always going to be someone that's retiring right?  Ugh.

Let's focus on one thing at a time, Nik.   Being and staying healthy for awhile.  Moving on past feeling blah and getting back to losing this godforsaken weight, getting things paid down, and working towards trying to have some sort of future. 

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