I think I might be getting sick. I know, I'm sick all the time, but ... I think I might be getting a cold on top of this. I'm not sure. It's so hard when my sinuses and other cold/flu areas are already rockin' and rollin' with the snot rockets, the congestion, the runniness, the sneezing and coughing and feeling like I was hit by a truck. How does one tell when they are actually getting something like a cold?
I feel worse, for one. Part of this is thanks to the new higher dose of meds I took today but ... I felt more run down before I took them. I felt more congested and more coughy/sneezy. I also did my sinus rinse and blew out some really gnarly green things. Green means infection right? Was that TMI?
I really hope I'm not going to be getting worse. I really hope every morning when I wake up that I might feel a wee bit better. I just want to be able to get through my day without whimpering that I wish I was in bed. I want to get through the day without day dreaming about my couch or the fluffy pillows on the bed. Today isn't that day. Today I yearn to be at home in my sweats more than ever. I feel lousy. I feel miserable. It is taking everything I have to put on a happy face and go along like nothing is wrong.
I know I don't have to pretend nothing is wrong. Everyone knows that I have this blasted condition. However, I kind of have a thing against whining. I hate whining. I know I do my fair share of it here in this blog, but I can't stand it when I hear it. I can't stand it when it comes out of my mouth too, don't get me wrong. Most of the time, I can tune it out. I can let someone just do their thing, whine about whatever and not let it get to me. Other times? I'm not so successful. In any case, I don't want to sit here amongst my peers with a sad frowny face on. I'm not trying to call attention to myself. I just want to be a part of the team like I always was.
This may work against me in my hatred of the "You Don't Look Sick" comments. Well, I'm sorry if I am trying not to make everyone uncomfortable by pouting all the time. I have what I have and it's for me to deal with. I don't need it to be front and center 100% of the time. I'm trying to find my new normal.
I have a busy couple of days with doctor's appointments, a dentist appointment, grocery shopping and going to the DMV. I can hear your jealousy about my DMV trip. You know you want to come with me! Anyway, I already feel like I've overdid it and am not looking forward to the rest of the week with my running around all over the place like a chicken with its head cut off.
I am really trying not to overdo it. Unfortunately, the doc appointments are necessary, the vet was necessary, the dentist is necessary ... it's not something I can really change.
Man, I really wish I was at home right now. Really Really Really.