Monday, August 26, 2013

Just another Manic Monday

I think I might be getting sick.  I know, I'm sick all the time, but ... I think I might be getting a cold on top of this.  I'm not sure.  It's so hard when my sinuses and other cold/flu areas are already rockin' and rollin' with the snot rockets, the congestion, the runniness, the sneezing and coughing and feeling like I was hit by a truck.  How does one tell when they are actually getting something like a cold?

I feel worse, for one.  Part of this is thanks to the new higher dose of meds I took today but ... I felt more run down before I took them.  I felt more congested and more coughy/sneezy.  I also did my sinus rinse and blew out some really gnarly green things.  Green means infection right? Was that TMI? 

I really hope I'm not going to be getting worse.  I really hope every morning when I wake up that I might feel a wee bit better.  I just want to be able to get through my day without whimpering that I wish I was in bed.  I want to get through the day without day dreaming about my couch or the fluffy pillows on the bed.  Today isn't that day.  Today I yearn to be at home in my sweats more than ever.  I feel lousy.  I feel miserable.  It is taking everything I have to put on a happy face and go along like nothing is wrong.

I know I don't have to pretend nothing is wrong.  Everyone knows that I have this blasted condition.  However, I kind of have a thing against whining.  I hate whining.  I know I do my fair share of it here in this blog, but I can't stand it when I hear it.  I can't stand it when it comes out of my mouth too, don't get me wrong.  Most of the time, I can tune it out.  I can let someone just do their thing, whine about whatever and not let it get to me.  Other times?  I'm not so successful.  In any case, I don't want to sit here amongst my peers with a sad frowny face on.  I'm not trying to call attention to myself.  I just want to be a part of the team like I always was. 

This may work against me in my hatred of the "You Don't Look Sick" comments.  Well, I'm sorry if I am trying not to make everyone uncomfortable by pouting all the time.  I have what I have and it's for me to deal with.  I don't need it to be front and center 100% of the time.  I'm trying to find my new normal. 

I have a busy couple of days with doctor's appointments, a dentist appointment, grocery shopping and going to the DMV.  I can hear your jealousy about my DMV trip.  You know you want to come with me! Anyway, I already feel like I've overdid it and am not looking forward to the rest of the week with my running around all over the place like a chicken with its head cut off. 

I am really trying not to overdo it.  Unfortunately, the doc appointments are necessary, the vet was necessary, the dentist is necessary ... it's not something I can really change.

Man, I really wish I was at home right now.  Really Really Really.

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