Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Good, Bad, Up, Down, Back, Forth, Normal, Wrong

...those are the days of my life.

Everything seemed to be getting "better".  I mean, not 100% but, I was feeling like I could move around a little bit more, like I could get more done.  I went and had my labwork done, thinking I would be marked off by the doc to not have to go back and have them done again anytime soon.  And I was ... no more bi-weekly runs over to the Kaiser lab.

But, then everything changed.  My nose is once again in complete agony.  It's either running like a leaky faucet, or it's so crusted up insde I can't touch it or move.  Yesterday, it decided to spring a bloody leak, twice.  And ... all down the front of my sweatshirt because I didn't get to the tissue in time.  Nice, huh?  Brianne, I hope you aren't reading this. 

I keep getting sharp, shooting pains behind my eyes and now, it feels like there is a cold compress on my spine between my shoulder blades.  That same area is also tingling.  It's the weirdest thing.  It happened in my arm too, but mostly my back.  I am not slouching or hunched over.  

I've emailed my rheumatologist to see if I should go back and see my ENT, or my PCP.  The last time I saw the ENT I had no diagnosis and he kept saying "it's just dry".  However, how can you say it's always dry when it's running at the same time?  Literally, right now it's all crusted up but there is a river running through it. How can you say that is dry?  And my cheeks hurt ... they ache ... and sometimes tingle. 

I don't know.  I thought good days were going to be here for awhile.  I made plans to get back into a more active routine, adding on to what I was doing right now.  I don't want to go backwards!

I want to go home, crawl in bed and pull the covers up over my head.  However, here I sit, at work, trying so hard to be normal.  I'm smiling, I'm trying to make jokes.  Because, that's the way it has to be.  


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