Monday, November 25, 2013

Adult Decisions, Adult Regrets?

One of my favorite things about being a grown up, is that I can make decisions for myself.  I don't have to get permission (although having the husband on board with said decisions helps) and I can decide to do things whenever the hell I feel like it.  At least there is some perk to this endless battle of responsibilities, right?

So ... I haven't exactly done anything for myself recently.  I don't count having my hair done.  Because I can just not do that.  Honestly, the hair doesn't help make this package look any better.  Anyway, everyone kept saying I needed to get away, go on a trip, do something nice for myself.  Alas, that never really happened.  So, I was thinking, and reading, and researching and I decided what I wanted to do.  So ... I did.

I decided I wanted to do something about my gas mileage.  I bought my 4-runner when children were still a possibility.  Right now, I have to think that they arent', because I can't plan for them.  I don't know what the future holds for my health.  I need to start living in the moment.  So, I decided to shop for a car that got better gas mileage.  I don't need an SUV.  It's usually just me and Loki in the vehicle anyway. 

I decided WHAT kind of car I wanted, and what year range.  I decided I wanted to go shopping this weekend.  I headed to the dealership to see if they had any 2010-2012 Acura TSXs. 

What did I get?

A 2014 Acura TSX.  Yes, I fell in LOVE with the brand new ones but I didn't even entertain the idea because I knew I couldn't afford a brand new one. 

However, I could afford to lease one.  Why would I lease a car?  Well, if you know me at all, you know that I start getting antsy for something different car-wise every couple of years.  It's a HORRIBLE habit, but what made it worse is that I would want to BUY a new car every few years.  So ... I did.

Since turning 20 I've had:

2000 Honda Civic SI (brand new)
1998 Ford Expedition
2003 Ford F250 (new)
2004 BMW 325i (brand new)
2005 Acura TL
2007 Toyota 4-Runner

So, I haven't bought a brand new car in almost 10 years.  I've been getting used ones, and because I keep rolling them over, my payments have always been pretty crappy. 

Now, I have a brand spanking new car.  I got behind the wheel of it last night and it had only 71 miles on it.  It smells like a wonderful new car and I am over the moon.

Now.

On the night of the purchase, I couldn't bring it home because it wasn't there.  I had to come home in a loaner while they tried to get it from another dealership.  I was very ... uneasy.  I felt like I chose wrong.  I felt like I shouldn't have done it.  But, that's the adult in me trying to talk myself out of it. 

Once I had the keys in my hand, once I got behind the wheel and drove my pretty car out on the roadway ... all those regrets faded away. 

This is for me.  This is what I did for myself.  I deal with sooooo much crap, people talking about how great they are, people screaming at me on the phone.  Being sick, cancer, trying to live my life with a life altering illness ... I deserved to do something for myself.

And I did. 

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