Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Get in your cage!

Now begins the daunting task of trying to put a harness and muzzle on a giant black fire breathing dragon, and to drag said dragon into a cage. 

I dusted off my fitbit flex, charged it and put it on so I can track my sleep. I started a notebook, keeping track of how I'm feeling, any exercises I did, how much water I drank. I'm logging my food, tracking macronutrients and trying to stay in a good calorie range. I cut out soda almost 2 months ago and for the most part only eat natural sugars. (I had sugar today but won't be doing that again. I need to get that sugar part under control and then I will remove gluten and wheat products.  I will make sure I get adequate sleep, good sleep.  I must do some sort of movement every day, except on those days where it's physically impossible. 

I posted hours of unwanted Overtime at work, because as much as I want to be an animal, I can't. I'm terrified of the flu, and need to spend less time in the recycled, recirculated air at work. 

It may seem like I'm "tracking" too much but, I need to get a new routine under control. Then, maybe the harness will make it onto the dragon. The sleep will muzzle it and the healthy eating and exercise will start to pull the dragon in the cage.

I'm so tired of being sick. Especially since it's like ... I'm able to function, so to the outside world "I don't look sick".   I miss my old life. I miss the things I took for granted. I miss hiking and mud runs. I miss Disneyland. I miss dead lifts. I miss the days when I didn't have to obsess over every detail, when I didn't think about the people around me and the germs they have. 

I won't lose this battle. Someday, I'll look back and say that I don't miss these days.  Someday ...

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