Friday, October 31, 2014

Want Versus Need

Hello Boys and Girls,
Today we are going to discuss the differences between wanting to do something and needing to do something.  The two are not the same.  Sometimes, in rare occasions, someone can want and need the same thing. What results in that equation is a happy person. They are doing what they need to do and it happens to be something they want.   I envy those people.  I am going to do my best to be one of those people. 


Well, let me tell you a little story about my lifestyle changes over the past year.  Oh, I was really super smart and cleaned up my eating in April.  Unfortunately, I focused TOO much on the weight that was dropping versus the health benefits that it was providing.  I mean, I knew it was doing something for me because I felt good and stopped taking my medications because I felt better when I wasn't on the medications.  Some may say that was a bad idea but, I preferred to go 7 days a week feeling normal versus three days of feeling like a truck ran me over and 4 days of smooth sailing.  Even with how good my health was, I was still completely and totally obsessed with the weight loss portion, weighing myself every day and obsessing about every bite into my mouth.  Do you know what happens when you're solely focused on weight loss?

You fail.

I tumbled off that clean eating wagon and landed in a pool of warm, melted chocolate.  Mmmm, wonderful right?  Wrong.  I couldn't get back up on the wagon.  I enjoyed every bad horrible thing I put in my mouth.  I enjoyed it too much.  I gained back 20 lbs of the 43 I lost.  Ugh.  What a horrible person that made me feel like!  I didn't "HAVE" to eat that way so I felt like I just wasn't going to.  So there!

Guess what, boys and girls?  Someone like me?  Yea, someone like me NEEDS to eat clean.  Let me give you a bit of an anatomy lesson.  Your immune system, the thing that helps you fight colds, the thing that makes you feel crummy and run down when you are fighting off germs, that's in your digestive system.  Yes, the tubes that snake around in your belly, changing food into poop, that's your immune system.  If that's not healthy, you aren't healthy.  So ... clean eating, eating only whole foods that aren't manipulated, is the perfect thing for an angry immune system.  Non-inflammatory foods will reduce swelling in the gut.  Not to mention, Wegener's/Vasculitis is an inflammatory disease.  It can cause dangerous inflammation on vital organs. This is what needs prevention.

In light of recent events, including a scary trip to the ER, spending a week feeling miserable at home, bloody noses, a never ending scab inside my nose, feeling like there's a band around my ribcage, non-stop fatigue ... I will be getting back on my injections of chemo, and ... a temporary dosage of prednisone and ... becoming incredibly strict with my eating.  Not only will I be strict because of the weight gain factors that go with prednisone but ... my life and health depends on eating clean. 

It's a matter of need now.  Want has no part of this equation.  Sure, I don't WANT to live the life that I am.  I don't WANT the disease that I have.  I don't' WANT to be different, to be immune-compromised and a germaphobe.  I don't WANT any of this but you know what?  This is what I have, this is my life and how I have to live.   This is a need ... regardless of how I feel.

Goodbye Sugar, Goodbye Sodas, Goodbye Carbs, I might miss you at first, but I won't miss anything else about your existence in my life. 

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