Monday, June 29, 2015

Guess who?

It's everyone's favorite whiny-pants, Nicole Grace.

I don't know what tipped me off that I had neglected to blog in a really long time or why I am even doing this.  It was all started to keep people apprised of me and this godforsaken illness that I hate more than I hate anything in the history of hating anything.  And, since I am doing something now that will hopefully help with that blasted disease, I figured I would come here and document it.  I have learned that the more I write stuff down, the more I stick to it. 

When I last came here, I wrote about the immune system.  I think.  No, I'm not going to go back and check but I distinctly remember writing in this very blog about the immune system. 

Need a refresher? OK.  Here goes ...

Ye olde immune system lives in your gut.  Plain and simple.  Dietary choices can wreak HAVOC on said immune system and honestly, even knowing this gem of information and how my immune system has already been wrung out to dry, I still haven't made the best of choices in what I shove into my face.

Until today, I've hung up my sugar addiction, I've put my soda addiction long behind me.  It's time to make sure I only eat healthy things from here on out.  I don't want to be as sick as I was before and I certainly don't want to be sick like I am now.  I've done this before, I know the health benefits I can get from it and I know how fantastic I felt while I was doing it.  It's just a matter of getting over that hump called 'withdrawals'.

It's going to be hard.  But, no one ever said anything would be easy.  When they say things are easy, don't trust them.  They are lying to you. 

I apologize in advance to whomever comes in contact with me over the next two weeks.  The withdrawal period is going to be rough but the results afterwards will make it all worth it.  I know this.  Everyone around me knows it.  I should just be very careful about who I talk to over the next couple weeks so that I don't unleash the beast. 

I've been on edge lately with some snide remarks made not directed towards me, but that have revealed the true nature of some people around me.  Then, there are comments that someone has made that I know are meant to be helpful, but she's not the greatest at tact so ... they've come out insulting.  I know this and ... while I consider myself thick skinned, I've gotten pissed.  Not hurt, just pissed.  I think no one has any right to judge anyone else for any reason.  Especially someone like this.  I've bitten my tongue several times because I know saying anything just makes me look like the bad guy.

What it must be like to be pretty so that everyone defends you even when you are wrong.  Oh well.  It is what it is. 

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

So, anyway, back to the matter at hand.  I will be making better choices from this moment forward.  Once the withdrawal is behind me, there will be no going back because I don't want to have to do it again.  This is not a diet, this is me eating so that I can feel good and I can have a normal life again without constantly feeling like I just want to go and lie down and sleep for the rest of my life. 

Speaking of which, I am so unbelievably tired and worn out right now.  I just want to sleep.  Like I mentioned above ... I feel like I am fighting something really bad.  Of course, it could just be plain old fashioned exhaustion.  Because we all know I work too much.  I mean, I know it ... how can I not?  That's all anyone ever says to me.  Not thank you ... not I appreciate you ... just that I work too much.

That's funny.  I don't seem to complain about my hours.  Nor do I mention how long my shift is.  And yet, I am the one who is constantly lectured.  Hmmm.  Dually noted. 

OK.  I think I've been whiny enough for now.  I'll check back in to update the progress of the clean eating and how I am doing.